I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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