I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i will never coherently bang her
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
