what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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