I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
