When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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