i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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