piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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