I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
