I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
