He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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