its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize