He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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