Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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