So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
