My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I have fence marks all over my body
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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