Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
