coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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