I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
