I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Acid is not a monday night drug
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
