I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So many bounce houses so little time
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Someone came in the potted fern
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
