I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
