So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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