as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just sent this text using only my big toe
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
