He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
