All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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