it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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