Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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