do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
