who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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