Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
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First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
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You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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