I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Boobs are out for the taking
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize