You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
