Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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