you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
