i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
