someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think I sprained my soul last night
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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