once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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