You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Acid is not a monday night drug
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
