my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Enjoy the penises
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
