i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
