I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
