dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
