Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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