My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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