Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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