Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
