I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
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I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
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Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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