You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
