she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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