I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There r osticjed everywhere
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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