You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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