we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize