how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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