If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
