Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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