He is such a slut. More and more my type.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
this will be a night to untag.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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