Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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