i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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