last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
