Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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