Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
