I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
