Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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