Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
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We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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