You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
