Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
