I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
