I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
