sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
